I was that mom today...
I had just walked into Target with my three kiddos in tow feeling on top of the world because I got out of the house before 9:30am. The kids were fed and changed, the beds were made and I even started the dishwasher before leaving. I am AMAZING. This is what happens when I only have to wake up twice during a 9 hour stretch of sleep to feed my newborn. I must have gotten 7 1/2 hours of sleep! I promise I was a great mom before stepping into Target. I took my kids to the Library and picked up fresh produce at Maceys all under an hour before stepping foot into Target. Then it happened...
I walk through the doors and my baby starts screaming. Im sure it made the lady feel extra rushed that had raced me to the registry and had won by seriously cutting me off. For a moment I secretly liked that my baby screaming made her feel rushed and hoped that it made her feel bad for cutting me off. I get out a pacifier for a quick fix just to realize that she has exploded in her diaper. I sigh and run over to change her in the bathroom. I pick her up and see that half of her body is covered in excrement.. nice. My almost 4 year old son wants to play in the sink with the bubbles as my almost 2 year old is crying trying to get out of the cart to join him. My baby is screaming as well and a lady walks in. I can't help but notice that she's pregnant and alone. I stop myself from telling her "see what you have to look forward to?" because I am not that type of person. Children are wonderful I remind myself. This is the life I wanted. I got this. I will march back out there and pick up a wedding present and my prescription that I need.
So of course, I change the baby and realize I don't have a backup onesie. I didn't even pack a blanket because this is my third child and I don't haul junk like that around anymore on a hot summers day. A nursing cover will have to do. I wrap her and go on with my life. As I exit the bathroom I snag a bag to put the poopy clothes in, ignore the cashier that thinks I'm trying to pull a fast one on her. I don't have time for explanations, I'm on a mission. Print out the registry, find what I want. Check check check. I am amazing still, I think to myself as my son is in a slight jog to keep up with my super fast cart. I head to the pharmacy. My birth control is HOW MUCH?? I get it anyways after looking at my three beautiful children, all of which are still three and under. I need that. I love them all but oh yes do I need that. I run over to check out with my other things, reassure my children that we have food at home and that even though their popcorn is amazing, we will not be getting it today. (Good job staying strong on the kind of diet thing I'm doing). I walk out of the store without anyone having a melt down, load my kids in the car and smile. I did it. I got through Target fast. Then as I'm pulling away I think about how crazy I must have looked in that store. Naked child in tow, crazy haired toddler in the cart and one half jogging boy beside me. I am that mom that looks crazy and possibly white trash. Little do they know that this is the most I've had it together in days and I feel wonderful. Life is good... crazy, but good.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Lets catch up! So Kenzie is now my crazy, loud, emotional, sweet, busy almost 2 (in September) year old girl. She loves dancing, spinning, jumping, getting into snacks, her owl stuffed animal that we can't seem to get rid of, and is a huge daddies girl. She talks A LOT unless we are around other people that she hasn't warmed up to yet. In that case- she stares at them and clings to me. She's hilarious.
Then there's Wellington! He is going to be 4 in 9 days... 4!!! Where does the time go?? He is my child that loves riding his bike, thinks everyone and everything is nice and his friend. He talks NON STOP, especially in the car. He loves cuddling and being a big boy. He is learning his letters and counting down till when he is going to turn 5 so that he can ride in a school bus. Just thinking of him going off to school makes me want to cry. He has become the biggest helper, and yet too helpful at times. He loves collecting rollie pollies and baking with me.
This was our family just a little bit ago!
Just enjoying the day to day and celebrating Easter...
then once i finished baby #3's quilt...
and was so huge i couldn't stand it anymore..
little ms Annabelle Jane was born. She was born on April 9th and slid right out at 3:33pm, weighing 8.7 and 19in long.
We are all head over heals in love with her. She has been my easiest baby so far. I loved all of my kids the instant they were born but this one felt different. I knew what to do right away unlike my first... and i wasn't as scared as i was with giving birth to my second because i understood that adding one more just adds to more love in our home... more craziness yes, but i somewhat knew what i was coming home to. The biggest thing is that i knew how fast the newborn phase would fly by. so as i sat in the hospital in those quiet moments i have never soaked up more awing over a baby in my life. i wrote my thoughts down the night after she was born-
"im a mother of three now! i can't believe that my love can stretch as far as it has, just multiplying, never dividing. I'm staring at my one day old baby Annabelle Jane right now in awe of the miracle of birth- the miracle of her. My heart is heavy with joy. i am so blessed. God is too kind to me at times. she's beautiful. perfect in her chunky cheeks and little noises that she makes while she sleeps. i had her sent to the nursery because of them only to call her back two hours later after getting a little rest. i missed her. i miss my other two kids at home asleep right now. then i realize it- i am such a mom. these kids of mine have stolen my heart. i don't think this will ever stop- me staring at them, wondering what they will become, yet not wanting them to be anything else but what they are right now in this moment- my baby."
fathers day putting in these three pictures was weird. i seriously can't believe this is my life.
then adam and i celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary... has it really been that long?
are these three kiddos really ours? they look like us and act like us... but they are all so unique. i can't believe they are mine to raise. my day in and day out is crazy and boring and emotional with all of them... but they along with adam are my life and i love it.
Monday, January 20, 2014
how embarressing is this.. i haven't updated in forever! a lot has happened! kenzie is 4 months old now and wellington is 2 1/2. wellington was unsure about this new baby in the beginning, now he is in love with her... giving her kisses, forcing any bottle or pacifier in her mouth (he's so helpful), handing me diapers to help change her and thanking heavenly father for her when he says his prayers.
when she was two months old we blessed her
then halloween came and went... along with christmas!
three days after christmas we took another big move! this time, back to good old utah! adam got a new job there and i am happy to be back closer to family!
the thing i enjoy most about the house is that we have a bonus room upstairs where all of the toys are!
but wellington is beyond excited that he gets to hang with his cousins and grandparents on Adams side.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Mckenzie Pearl was born 9/17/2013 at 2:55pm weighing in at 8lb 4oz, 20 1/2in long. The day started with having to go into the hospital at 7am to see if they could flip her since she was lying breach (if not then i would have to have a c section right after). my prayers were answered and she flipped! the doctor basically just pushes really hard on my stomach while gripping the head and spinning her... needless to say, i went ahead and got my good old epidural before she did that (since i was planning on getting one after being induced anyways, and its a painful procedure). soon after i was induced and spent my time sleeping and talking about how wonderful drugs were- adam got some good laughs. then after 30 mins of pushing little kenzie was born. she had the cord wrapped around her neck and it was a scary moment as the nurses rushed into help her breath and start crying. i am so glad that everything turned out alright and that we have our little girl here finally!
its so sweet to see adam holding his little girl, and wellington is being quite the big brother- always rushing to her side when she cries, and then runs to me yelling baby crying! his new job is the official diaper thrower-outer.. which he takes very seriously. the first few weeks were a hard adjustment for him as he soon realized that he had to share mommies attention.
the stay in the hospital was fun with all the visitors we had (thanks for ordering up pizza chase and brittany!) And I was so glad that my mother-in-law was able to take care of wellington while we were in the hospital. our stay at home the first week was made a little easier with my sweet mom and sister coming down.
i love her hair!! and i love seeing her smile while she sleeps.
i was reading an article my friend from high school posted on Facebook titled, 8 silly things people say when i tell them i don't want kids. after reading it i was filled with sadness! it mainly talked about how wonderful being able to travel is, sleep, spend $ without worrying, and how her life with her and her husband (who also doesn't want kids) is perfectly happy without the stress and burden of kids. my mind started spinning with what i should say to my friend who posted this but then i didn't.
its not my place to tell someone how they should feel or what they should do.. besides, who would ever sign up to feel sick and uncomfortable for 9 months, and then even think to do it again? who would want to deal with a screaming baby in the grocery store along with a toddler having a melt down?
i would, simply because i know that there is no other feeling in the world that can replace the joy my children bring me. no amount of money or amazing trips would ever convince me into giving up seeing my little one smile in her sleep, or seeing my son grin when he learns something new. i love knowing that i have a purpose besides just caring about myself. i love the feeling i have when my kids rest their heavy heads on my shoulder and the only thing that will make them feel better is a hug and a kiss from mommy. there is no other calling or purpose in life that is greater. i am my kids mom. i love raising them and seeing them grow, and if someone doesn't want that for themselves then fine, miss out on truly living life and knowing what it means to truly love someone unconditionally.